3 words to sum up the day:

OMG !

4 econs full length essay dued tmr!

i dont want go schooooooooooooooooooooL! :(

typical stereotype

i think its a stereotype.

that people who are always laughing and creating lame jokes are happy.

i'm really sorry to spoil your perfect impression of them, because not all are. some may act as if they live in their own world and they don't really care about what's going on around them, but they do. they're just observing.

some laughters, are a desperate cry of help.

that people will really know the true them. we're all in search of our own identity. so. please, stop behaving as if your search for identity is some big shit. with your standards, not as if your identity would be the next PM or what. because if you are, im so gonna migrate.

people who agree, breathe.

thank you.

so people, stop your stereotypical thinking of others. you're nothing but the same people i see everyday. just stop it.

so, i look pretty happy, right?

*roll eyes* get a life, and stop judging people.

oh. and dont flirt, you flirt. yes you, im talking to you.

kebaboom!~

today started of pretty sucky.

• i was late
• my project work leader's lappy crashed and there goes our WR which was supposedly to be passed up by today
• i forgot my lit file. to my horror.

but hey, things got pretty good after that because:

• rugby training
• makaning.

today, during rugby training, we dived. things got pretty messy cos it was raining and muddy all over. yet irritatin cos some people just didnt wanted to do a good dive! but it rocked! c'mon, we were literally rolling and gliding and sliding in the MUD!

:D

BROWNIE!

so fun okay! had dinner at yoshinoya with the rugby boys. it was retarded.

and to think they thought 'banging' was that 'banging'

tsk tsk! ok.

binge

felt rather angsty these few days. oh and i really have to control my anger (although i have been controlling and tolerating every nonsense i could). i shouldn't be feeling so upset about such stuffs. i should control my anger more. so i probably won't get affect by it and not to mention, i love yet hate the bitching that simply comes later on.

i feel pretty bad about the bitching part though i have repeatedly tried to console myself that those are simply facts. (HAHA! bang wall). its really hard living in such environment.

all the hypocrisy and everything. blah blah blah. sick. of. it.

getting pretty emotional. i supposed. i cried with Jessica Liu on tv when she cried because YingJun was that dumb to not noticed that she likes him on KINSHIP. tmr's episode gonna blast me i guess, but im at rugby la.

and i should stop venting anger on food. ive been like eating the entire canteen or something? i need to run okay.

fart legs suck.

okay. my pw leader hasnt sent me WR. wth la.

extract

when you're all alone in the bustling city, you would always want to find a strong and sturdy shoulder for you to lie on. so that whenever you met with a difficulty or anything, you can always complain to him. you cry and laugh with him. then, you realised, you cannot live without him at all.

awwwww

sweet aye? such a nice and sweet extract i found in a stack of assesments. like there's finally something linking to the teens. muahaha. oh and something that caught most of my attention. i went from slouching over the table to sitting up straight and reading the passage seriously.

and it somehow relates. (:

here is the continuation of the above extract:

however, once feelings developes, you find that he is the one in control of it. unlike last time, when your source of pain comes from other places, now it comes from him. he makes you sad & depressed and happy & joyful. you still wouldnt let him go, holding on way too tight. it's something you can't let go. like as if, without him, the world ends, and you can't smile anymore.

it doesn't relate, it just simply hit the nail on MY head.

bingo.

welcome to holland

i was thinking about my class when i was bathing, minutes ago. i was thinking about the 'fake bonds' that people thought our class had because there were more girls than guys vs the actual truth of our class.

to think of it, i'm quite ashamed. but nonetheless, i'm still gonna make this post.

i don't really care if blogging about people (w/o acknowledging their names) is a cowardly action. because, i have to stress on the fact that this blog is the only place where i can rant and rant like pimple and no one can stop me. so, if you're gonna say, that blogging about people is not allowed in my personal blogspace, let me die okay? before anything, i want to post.

oh, and i don't give 2 hoots about school viewing our friendsters or blogs or whatever shit.

now, should we have more remedials?

yes yes. fair conduct. continue.

many think that our class is freaking united. cos the ratio of girls to boys is like 20 : 5? yeah. or 19 : 5. cant rmber. so they think that girls can actually click with one another and yeah, form invisible bonds that connects the class and whatever shit.

but the disgusting truth is, im actually quite disgusted with the class's hypocrisy. not as if im a saint with a halo or whatever. but hey, big mouths, being bitchy, seeking attention everywhere, screechy act cute voice, tactless conversations, etc, there's a limit to it.

you know, i dont really care about whoever had this or said this or whatever crap. because its none of my business.

i feel like roaring. i don't understand why must i appear calm and everything nice when im not. maybe, i got influenced by the class's hypocrisy.

hah. well done. 1ao4.

i actually had the intention of typing a much more harsher post. but oh well.

birthdays

went out to celebrate mathew & clinton's birthday yesterday(: miss the gang, ALOT. and i wished last night didnt had to end and i had no curfew -.- blah. nonethelessm, we had lots of fun.

oh, we took very little photos. and they werent very clear due to the lightings a
and everything. ): oh well.

around there. haha

<3

mathew teng fufu

"husband"'s at IT again. HAHA. miss him(: so retarded!

"whatever!"

it was investiture and im not the one being invested

i skipped PE due to high fever last night. was damn weak when i woke up this morning. but other than that, some sweetheart cheered me up in the morning! (:

oh yeah, 2nd period, more sweethearts! the kickboxer is really cute! haha. but teresa says no. yj, elana, azu, i +++ all agree he's cute. stupid teresa, ahyah, she only has eyes for harvey & heehor. HAHA! stupid bimbo.

after that, it was investiture. i was talking to cassandra abt the investiture. like last time, we were the ones on stage, now we're the audience, i guess its a cycle.

congrats to elisha - president. haha. wonderwoman, you're freaking wonderful lah! througout the investiture, one&only and i were smsing each other, as usual, being retarded! elana was super retarded. she help this unknown guy to remove an ant on his collar, i was laughing like MAD. HAHA






(:

ohyeah, back to math. ):

feeza asked me to do this!

The rules :

1. Each player of this game starts off by giving 6 weird things about themselves.

2. People who get tagged needs to write in their blog of their own weird things as well and state the rules clearly.

3. In the end, you'll select 6 people to be tagged and list their names.

SIX WEIRD THINGS ABOUT ME

1. i like to sleep on the floor

2. i dont like to eat meat (chicken, pork, fish at times)

3. i like vegetables

4. i like punk rock music but at the same time, i like emo sappy love songs

5. i have an invisible best friend. (HAHA)

6. i am lynette, the weirdo. (HAHA!)

6 people to be tagged

1. tan li hwei, asli
2. xiao ting
3. james
4. sherman
5. elana
6. any living soul that sees this.

wheres the once lynette that i see in the photos?

can i scream and shout and claw at you?

you know, at times, certain facts need not to be repeated right in front of my face many many times. it gets quite irritating. especially when it's something i'm dreadfully trying to avoid. some people would just come and repeat that fact all over again.

lemme see. i had 2 friends telling me that. i myself saw it everytime i came here, this would probably make up countless times. and i saw it whenever i went to his blog, which im trying very hard to abstain from clicking his name.

i used 'abstain' because it's something i desperately want to avoid. like monks & nuns abstaining from alcohol or meat.

ABSTAIN! then i'll abhor. i wonder when will i start to abhor. and how can i abhor him? sounds pretty impossible.

and to think he still cares.

i wonder when will all this shit end. and i got a feeling that i'll probably revert back to sec school and scold vulgarities, like really alot this time round. but i don't want to be such a person.

i've counted. i said 'fuck' 4 times throughout this entire year. including now, it concludes a total 5 times. it's not something to be proud of. but i very much want that word out of my dictionary and replace it with something profound like - purloining or something else.

i'm glad i nvr said any hokkien versions this year and i probably keep it that way.

im getting very malas on repeating myself already.

no, i think im just sick of myself.

malfoy oh malfoy

this kind of sums up everything. i've been playing in the rain recently (:

i look happy, don't i?

rugby with guys is fun. although it gets pretty irritating afterawhile. HAH. but its not that bad after the entire game

i feel pretty accomplished. (:

lost

im in no state to console anyone. just look at myself. just. look.

it's an irony that i repeated a question that was i was asked, to elana.

im losing it.

im losing myself.

will you help?

i lost myself.

james's really sweet & nice. on a random day of his and on a bad day of mine, he just randomly decided to blog about me. (:

now's my turn! haha.

i knew this guy in the 2nd intake of SR. he was in the same OG as i was in, Calypso 1. (: he sat beside me during "whacko" so i thought i might as well just make friends with him.

he was pretty shy at first, but when i told him that i had no intention of entering SR, we started discussing about poly life. i almost wanted to leave that very day and seek for appeals to other courses. and james asked me to tell him if i wanted to leave, cos he wanted to leave also. but we didnt leave, cos the school won't let us off.

the 2nd day, he was absent.

and on the 3rd day, he shared a secret with me. haha! about 2nd day that is. but being me, i decided to accept what has came and thus, i stayed in SR. he, left for a poly course. during the last day, i wished him all the best and share some stuffs with him. i think he was the closest friend i had in the OG during that 3 days. haha.

it's simply amazing how we managed to click off pretty well within such short time. (: now, he's in a poly. doing well i guess. and we still do keep in contact. wishing each other luck and asking about one another.

well, all the best, james.(: haha

---

its been pretty bad lately.

my self esteem went downright down. plus confidence. everything.

i want to be anorexic. bulimic also can.

i want to change myself

i want my identity.

the penknife isnt sharp enough, my dear

"I find myself believing in something that didnt really exist at all, while the irony is i was led to think it did."

i saw this at yj's blog. and i found that to be pretty true about the stuffs that are happening unknowingly around me.

i guess, it's always like that.

knowing that the consequence would never benefit you in any ways, you went ahead with it. and now, you're hurt, lying on this cold hard floor and not knowing what to do.

move on? easier said than done.

curiousity has indeed gave the cat a very horrible death. the poor little thing used up all it's nine lives and yet, it couldnt survive. all it ever wanted was for that special one to notice it, that's all. was it wrong?

tell me, was it wrong?

can you imagine how retarded i was? believing in a thing that was never real, it never existed.

hello little green man, you should just go home, because, you won't be of much use anymore.

how sad, lynette, how sad. what ever made you believe that there was hope in such a world with such a person?

your just a sad song, with nothing to sing.

a very very sad song.

now, i don't see a point of becoming a happier person just because you entered my life. because not only you entered my life, you brought your sweetheart along.

and i just realised it. probably not, because you're acting skills were so good that i actually felt love oozing from you to me. your SKILLS were that good. i'm just one of your dumb audiences that happened to feel your love during this short period of time. i'm just someone that you happened to pick upon from sooo many people for you to show your love & attention and than cast me aside, simply because, you found your new partner.

like wow. but it's okay i guess, cause we were never together, right?

i don't see a point why should i be happy because of you. because, you were the cause of both misery and happiness.

what are you? a monster? a demon? a cockroach? now stay away from me and i'll stay away from you because i want time to heal my wounds. maybe i should delete all your smses in my phone.

maybe i should start from taking your picture away from my wallet and all the pics we took together should be hidden in a secret folder. where i will gradually forget about it.

because of you, i became happier.
now because of you, i'm miserable.

now, i want YOU to forget about the promise you made me. so that there will be no more link in between to both of us. i want to walk down the street and past YOU and don't feel my heart thumping and having the urge to call you name.

by right, i should stop seeing you in that group of friends. but i can't. and i feel like such a loser.

i should just walk away. no, i will walk away.

and all the "nots" i should have done, i know i can't do it.

for now, allow me to just fake it when im with you. like i dont know anything at all.

and dont rub salt to my wounds. please.

i hate to be touched but i'd love to touch people.

i'm leaving


to py for a company camp! bwahaha! i guess math, gc and FEEZA MEENAHCHI will be my partners for tonight or, not forgetting, asli tan li hwei! tt is if i have the time. WAH.

oh, did i mention how i love touch rug?

clothing's not pack, toes hurt, bought new socks, hungry and why and i typing like this!?

anyway, i love paddle pop rainbow too.

but ultimately, i LOVE you*

AHAHAHAH. omg. i damn kaysiao, can't stand it.

boo

today wasn't such a bad day i guess.

we were supposed to take height and weight. GRRR. the teachers have no idea how sensitive these 2 things are to girls.

..

OKAY, TO FAT GIRLS OKAY. FAT FAT FAT!

i lost 4kg. ((= and i want to lose more MORE! like. till 48? or 50? MUAHA. skali i gain weight, and im so gonna laugh back at this entry, huh?

and i also lost 4cm. >:( 4cm as in height! and NOT waistline okay! HEIGHT LEH! OMG.

i think im gonna remain this height forever. oh man, i hope not! moreover, i dont like wearing heeeeels.! but i wanna be like 160 or something? yah yah!

today's touch rug training was @#$%^&*! !! ms lam, made us run 5 rounds at the end of training, and we were all like half dead. but i had stitches! STEECHERS.

but at the end of it, i felt accomplished!

and i love it! AHAHA! (:

im loving touch rug more and more. and im developing more feelings for gilbert. oh i love gilbert!

<3<3<3<3!

sometimes, i come school, like for touch rug? HAHA. but at times, when everything is like too touch ruggy, i dont like. when ms lam pushes us for touch rug like really really really alot. WE don't like it.

it's not as if we're gonna DSA to uni through touch rug what! hahaha! but it's okay ms lam! ms lam always kacau me! i wear hairband, she'll say hairband cant make me think properly. i tied my hair into a bun, and she says i should let the pony tail hang out.

i'm so gonna skip skeep skip skeeep! i want to grow taller. and i have to bring lesser money. like 3 dollars a day, so i wont spend so much on food. yesyes.

OKAY. need to pee double you.

and bomb. HAHAHA.

ASLI TAN LI HWEI! the lamest woman in the entire human race. MUAHAHA.

bad dream

i had a really bad dream last night. it scare the living daylights out of me, i tell you.

this bad dream wasn't about myself, but a distant friend, like those kind of hi-bye type. but nonetheless, we still do talk. something bad happen to him.

it was at the most weirdest of places - my home.
it was at the most weirdest of circumstances - burning of papers
it had the most weirdest people in it - some far far friend.

weird huh? there's totally no link at all. and the main thing was just no link!

basically, it was like buddhism with a tinge of fairytale and a really bad consequence. it's like mixing wrong stuffs together and thus you get a really really bad product that scares the hell out of me.

i dreamt that the both of us were watching a real ghost clip on this device.

after it ended, an auntie appeared out of nowhere and said "you all better pray and burn some offering for this granny. you all just watched her."

we agreed. my dumb friend went to untie those hell notes while i went into my house to find a lighter.

surprisngly, when i came back, the wok (i dont why a wok) to burn the offering was already burning. than i saw Death behind my dumb friend. Death as in Death! you know, the skeleton draped in black cloak, holding an axe. BEHIND MY FRIEND LEH!

than i freaked out and went to call the auntie that ask us to burn the offerings. but i couldnt find her in the house. so i went out to check if my dumb friend was still there. (i was afraid Death kidnap him). He was, but he was in pain. than i realised, he got burnt very badly. burnt marks all over his body.

damn scary. i helped him to the chair and then amazingly, when he took off his clothing and i went to find the cooling cream, my mom came. -.- and when i got back to my friend, the cream has already been applied all over his body and he was lying on the sofa, resting.

than my dad woke me up.

okay. anti-climax.

EHHHHHHH. very freaky one leh.

AND THE MAIN THING IS, IM NOT A BUDDHIST! im a CHRISTIAN! *faints christians dont burn paper.

i woke up, almost crying. not because the guy is what, but more of you know something that is not visible is hurting the people around you and yet you cant do or say anything about it.

THEY SAY IF YOU SAY OUT BAD DREAMS, IT WONT COME TRUE HOR?! okay im saying it out! i dont want that ever to happen. i just dont like to witness such stuffs lah.

im still quite freaked out.

like, seriously.

i'm stuck halfway for my geepee essay.

a whole new world.

i miss disney days. (:

oh, those days

i have the sudden urge to go over and hug my rainbow real tight and than i'll end this once and for all.

siao thinking.

anyways, gp june holiday assignment has been hanging on my notice board for quite a long time. i think i'll just do it tmr. before i leave. not because i want extra credit, but more of tuesday's the deadline. i know, so eleventh hour.

speaking of eleventh hour reminds me of the idiots in my secondary school life. Very much the idiots i love alot, till now. AHAHA. to think jannie & i waited like an hour plus for 2 of them at bedok. the number of idiots grew as we gradually accepted more people into our clique unknowingly. but hey, i must say, i never regret hanging out with that group of idiots.

so what if the ratio is like 3 girls to 7 boys? (some of the boys act like girls sometimes anyway). car, jannie & i don't really bother how people think of us. it's not liking to hang out with boys, but more of us, finding the right people we think we can create wonderful memories in our life, secondary school lives, to be exact. because we know, we're bound to get seperated after o's.

true enough, we got seperated. all of the boys and car went to tp, whereas the girls splitted. one went to nyp, and one went to a jc. the moment we girls feared, came true. because all 10 of us wanted to go to the same poly and major in diff stuffs, i think we wanted it too badly till the opposite came through.

nonetheless, i've been meeting jannie and soyah recently to go home together or just chill at one corner. meeting them really makes me reminisce about the times we used to quarell as 1 group because we can't decide whr to go for lunch or what to do after that. even when jannie and i went back to secondary school, we commented on places in school that we were usually spotted. we even took the route to interchange, where we always walk after art remedials, with our canvases. talking and singing loudly.

courts days(:

but now, i am pretty sure i wouldn't want to be in a clique in my current school. k la. maybe like walk to class together or eat together. but i doubt hanging out together counts. what else do they know about me except from my name? they don't even know where i live and some still have the idea that i came from a convent school. ok, except for some.

yeah. pingyi girls school what, hor mathew? same class till sec 4.

like what? CHIJ St. Ping Yi High. HAHA. who would be named ping yi?

i want to get some love story books. so i can bawl my eyes out. HAHA.

OMG OMG, I MISS SAM YOGI! i really do. prefect huh? haha. miss the days when rushi, soyah and the both of us crapped together in the prefect room. ohwell. this is like the only photo i have of you. so.. HAHA. nvm la hor? and i remember emoing with you iriver. haha


i remember starting this post with a different intention. but it seems that it has led me to this topic. oh well. lynette = random isn't so?

you know, i so want to go back to msia, the kampong side

once in awhile, it's good to leave the bustling city and fine some good peace and serenity at the villages.

did i mention how my thighs hurt? haha.

let's just say, it'll be touch rug and studies and something else for now. (: